...
something timeless and indestructible
within
each of us
that
can heal us and the world if
we
can just open ourselves to it.
~ Mark
Nepo
A dear friend was sharing about having recently
read about the research into how some individuals meet crisis and trauma in
life and come out resilient. Others are beaten or broken or become embittered.
Our conversation reminded me of the story about carrots, eggs, and coffee beans.
You may have heard the
story of how three
things—a carrot, an egg,
and coffee beans—
respond differently to
life’s challenges. After
reading this, you may
never look at a cup of
coffee (or life) the same
way again.
A young woman was
complaining to her
mother, saying that life
was too hard for her.
Facing what seemed to be
an endless stream of
difficulties, she was
feeling overwhelmed and
discouraged, and felt like
giving up. She went to
her mother and told her
about her life and how
things were so hard for
her.
Her mother brought her into the kitchen where
she put three pans of
water on three burners,
and turned them all on
high. As the water
began to boil, in the
first she placed carrots, in
the second she placed
eggs, and in the last she
placed ground coffee
beans. Again, letting life
teach, rather than
lecturing her daughter, she let
them sit and boil, without
saying a word.
After about twenty minutes
or so, she turned off
the burners. She placed
the carrots on a plate
next to the eggs, and she
poured the coffee
into a cup. She turned to
her
daughter and said simply, “Tell
me what you see.”
“I see carrots, eggs, and
coffee,” the daughter
replied.
Her mother asked her to
touch the carrots and
notice
that they were soft now.
She peeled an egg, showing
that it was now
hard-boiled. She let her
daughter take a sip of
the coffee. After her
daughter asked what that
all meant, the mother
wisely pointed out that
while each of these
objects had faced the same
adversity—boiling water—each
had reacted
differently.
The carrot had gone into
the water strong, hard,
and unbending. After being
subjected to the
boiling water, it became
weak. The egg had
originally been fragile,
with just a thin outer
shell protecting the
liquid interior. After sitting
through the boiling water,
the insides of the
egg had became hardened.
The ground coffee beans
were unique, however.
After they were in the
boiling water, they had
changed the water. The
mother is said to have
asked the daughter, “Which
are you?”
It is worth noticing when
challenges come your
way, how have you
responded? Have you been
like a carrot, an egg, or
a coffee bean? Were you
like the carrot that seems
strong, but with pain
and adversity, or illness
or hardship, had you
lost your strength?
Were you like the egg that
started with a soft
heart, but changed with
the heat? Did you
let an unexpected death,
the loss of a job, a
relationship change, or
some other difficult
circumstances make you
become hard-hearted
or inflexible? Had your
shell looked the same,
but on the inside had you
been feeling bitter?
We can all be more like
the coffee bean.
The alchemy of life
happens because the
bean actually changes the
hot water, the very
circumstance that brings
the pain. It is when the
water gets hot that the
coffee bean releases the
fragrance and flavor. As
you become more like
the bean, even if at times
things seem to be at
their worst, those are
times when you can only
get better because you
change the way you
look at things and are
able to change the
situation around you.
The happiest of people don’t
necessarily always
have the best of
everything. They just find ways
to make the most of
everything that comes
along their way. The
brightest future will always
be based on a past that is
filled with stepping
stones rather than
stumbling blocks. Letting go
of your past failures and
heartaches compels you
to push forward with
positive intent. Once you
let go of your
disappointments, you find yourself
moving forward in life
with greater confidence
and competence. Happier
people are actually
smarter people.
~ Falling Together in Love: Stories From My Heart for and about YOU
 |
| To order your copy, visit http://scs-matters.com/products2.shtml. Profound gratitude to Patty Reddy for the magical illustrations and layout! |
