Progress

Over a cup of coffee with a new writer colleague/friend, as the conversation got rather deep, she said, “We don’t know that much about the brain and about making lasting changes.”

“Bull $&@#!” I blurted out.

“Don’t hold back,” she went on.

“NLP was developed in the 1970’s,” I continued. “We do know how we run our brains. That is what Subtle Communication Systems is all about. It is vital for well-being. What we don’t yet know is how to get the mainstream to recognize and utilize the resources.”

We nicknamed our business SCS Matters, because it does!

I did not know I still had so much energy around all of this. I guess it is understandable, given the decades I have been involved in holistic education. I remember someone asking Dean Ornish in 2007 how he thought we were doing with the move to integration. His response was he was amazed at how far we had come and appalled at how long it was taking.

Why would I say the body of work we call Subtle Communication Systems is vital for well-being? Because it is: simply put, you need to know how your internal processes affect your energy and how your energy affects your health.

You cannot feel fear without having a specific way you are thinking about the trigger.

Every thought, feeling, belief, and attitude has a structure to it. Changing the structure allows you to have a different experience.

My work has been called satanic, dangerous, and fraudulent.

I am reminded that all innovation meets with three distinct phases: first, it is ridiculed; then it is resisted; and then it is accepted as the norm. 

As Dean Ornish said, we are making progress.

Halleluiah!

I Do—Even After 50 Years!

(An open letter to my husband, John Basham, on the occasion of our Golden Wedding Anniversary on Saturday, March 19, 2016.)

Mr. and Mrs. John Basham - 1966

Saturday, March 19 , 1966, it was a different world when we said “I do." Gasoline was 29 cents per gallon, and we were still in high school. We were expecting what would be our only child.

While some of our friends who were pregnant when they got married used the phrase, “had to get married” about their wedding, there was no have-to-get-married for us. We had to go to probate court. We had to challenge the judge who said our baby belonged to the courts. We had to fight the courts and the odds to still be together 5 decades later.

In many ways, the 3 of us grew up together. You and I certainly never felt like we missed out on anything we wanted. We had it all.

1991 - 25th Anniversary: Renewal of Vows

I am glad we had a big event for our 25^th as our 50th will be about as simple as our wedding itself. Just the four of us in the church that night. The sanctuary dark, with only the light in the chancel on. We entered the side door—you, me, your brother Jim, and sister-in-law Karen.

We still have the proofs of our wedding photos taken at the photographer’s home on our way to Berrien Springs for me to meet your grandparents. 

After I was approved by all there, we drove back into Benton Harbor to buy Henny Penny chicken from Henry’s (for those who know Benton Harbor!). We drove to Eau Claire and ate our wedding dinner at the kitchen table in the home of Karen's mom, Mable, where she and Jim and their son, Kurt, lived. 

Our wedding night was spent in my bed, in my parents’ home at Spinks Corners, with my mom and dad in the next room! Not much privacy for a shy guy and his hormone-heavy bride, but we survived that and so much more, didn't we....

All those who have been buried while we have been married….

So much change in the world and in us….

What is most important today is the truth that has never waivered: I would do it all over again. I would say, "I do."

I love that we don’t have to like the same things; do what the other does; or even agree. 

I love the freedom to be me that you so freely give, and I treasure how much our daughter and our grandchildren love you. We all did very well choosing you, and we all love you very much. My dad is glad he missed the night he shot at you because you came to the house in the middle of the night (for the record, it was 8:30 pm).

Since on this sacred occasion, we are celebrating without the benefit of formal ceremony, I will borrow a slightly edited version of a wonderful prayer for the wedding of Ann Kidd and Scott Taylor, from the book Traveling with Pomegranates: A Mother-Daughter Story, by Sue Monk Kidd and Ann Kidd Taylor:

Eternal Spirit, Mother and Father who art in earth and heaven:

We acknowledge your presence on this holy occasion,

Like the oak branch that reaches into heaven,

And the roots that travel into the earth,

You are above us and below us, and everywhere around us.

            May we know You in the beauty of the green earth,

In the music of the flowing river, and

In the hearts that rejoice together at the 50^th wedding anniversary of Debra and John Basham. Amen. 

I Have a Secret

I have a secret—something I am very excited about, but cannot yet share.

What I am aware of is how that excitement and feels in my body. My breath is a little quick, and high in my chest….

As soon as I can, I will share the details of my wonderful news. 

In the meantime, I can share that today we had an amazing kayak trip today: one dolphin sighting, and many great encounters with fish, birds, sun, and sky.

Kathy Boevink says on any journey, we must find out where we are before we can plan the first step. True. 

We looked at the map last night, and Cindy studied the mangrove paths on the GPS before we headed out.

Fortunately, it was a calm day, and we got to see some open waters!

It was not only a calm day on the water. It was also a calm day in my mind. I was present in my kayak; I was breathing. We know how fortunate we are to have this opportunity. We cooperated and we shared and we enjoyed.

Like a kid excitedly waiting for Christmas, fully engaged in a favorite movie, I am enjoying the moments as they unfold until I can share with you all the exciting news that is coming soon!

Okay, here is the news! I am so honored to be part of the cast for Listen to Your Mother Southwest Michigan 2016. 

Here is the link: http://listentoyourmothershow.com/southwestmichigan/2016/03/17/announcing-2016-cast-ltym-swmichigan/

Homesickness

Some people will not be able to relate to the concept of feeling homesickness, but it is a feeling that has been with me since childhood. I would go to spend the night with a friend, have a wonderful time all day, and then at bedtime get overwhelmed by wanting to be home. More than once, the mother of a friend had to take me into her arms or into her bed to comfort me.

Homesickness is a feeling akin to that of not being wanted or safe, but it has a more subtle tug on the heart.

I can feel homesick for a space, like my office at 1111 Main Street, or an experience, like a day at Still Waters Retreat Center or watching So You Think You Can Dance.

Missing the beloved pets of friends or family will send me to the ice cream parlor or the auto repair shop to pet the resident cat there.

Here is Zeus, one of my kitty friends….

Even the smell of certain foods (oatmeal cookies, curry noodles, corn bread) can cause my heart to hurt. I can feel that longing for those who have passed, one who is living but not where I currently am, and sometimes even for those I have never met.

While I understand not everyone feels such angst of missing, I am also keenly respectful that the feeling is a symptom of my not being fully present in the current moment. Darn, it is awkward to find yourself where you wish you were not, even if you are where you choose to be.

One of the best things I have learned to do when overcome by my emotions is to tap. Emotional Freedom Technique, or EFT, or simply "tapping," has become a very welcome addition to my energy medicine toolbox.

If you are not familiar with tapping, and would like to learn more, let me know. If you already know about it, I hope you are getting the benefits of using it, too, even if you never feel homesick.

For now, I will go for a bike ride—another of my favorite ways to stay present moment….