Truly Present

Mark Twain is thought to have said, "I can live for two months on a good compliment." The statement honors how easily we all can be influenced by what another says or thinks about us. That is probably why it feels so good to be with others who share similar values to our own. That happened for me with the International College of Integrative Medicine. That professional group is made up of folks I would call physician/healers. Their passion, dedication, commitment to lifelong learning, and their dream of positive changes in the philosophy and practice of medicine is palpable. 

I am still processing my experience at the conference in Lexington, Kentucky, last week, and I expect I will continue to treasure the connections with those I spent time with the same way you savor a fine meal. What makes the most sense to me is that something personal has taught them to be truly present with their patients. The presence they bring is also packed with skill.

Joel Bowman shown here with Aline Fournier, D.O., in Lexington, Kentucky, as she finishes his session after the end of the workshop on Mesotherapy. Joel was the demonstration subject.

In My Grandfather's Blessing: Stories of Strength, Refuge, and Belonging, Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen writes of having (years ago) cared for a "desperately sick" two-year-old boy. As he lay in the hospital bed, day after day, his mother would be there with him, her hand under his blanket, holding his small foot. When asked, the mother shared that she would "just close her eyes and dream her dreams for him." Over and over again. 

That tender, unswerving, mother's love made me think of an idea called THE THREE C's in Twelve Step circles: "I didn't cause it; I can't control it; and I can't cure it." What a relief to remember these when invited into the sacred circle with another. 

If medicine, meaning drugs and surgery, was the cause and healing was the effect, then think for a moment about why it works some times and not others, and become aware now of why some people heal without medicine, drugs, or surgery.

Think about something really physical like a hip replacement, and notice how nothing the surgeon does - nothing the nurses do – actually “makes” that hip heal. If healing results, not from what is done to the individual by others, then what is it that actually causes or allows healing to occur?

In Love & Survival: 8 Pathways to Intimacy and Healing, Dr. Dean Ornish reminds readers that even when drugs and surgery are necessary, they are just the beginning. The physical body – the heart, is more than just a mechanical pump. Ornish says you also have an emotional heart, a psychological heart, and a spiritual heart.

“Curing is when the physical disease gets measurably better. Healing is a process of becoming whole. Even the words heal and whole and holy come from the same root. Returning healing to medicine is like returning justice to law." (p.15)

Healing is the most natural of processes. Remember a time when you cut a finger or skinned a knee. Something inside you allowed healing to occur. That something inside you is your innate healing capacity. Your greatest goal, as facilitators of healing, is to support the individual discovering the attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors which turn on this innate healing capacity to its maximum. 

While mere focus on cure might see death as failure, look at life as the process of living, as more than flesh and bones, and you gain a greater sense of the sacred art of healing.

“Illness and the opportunity it presents people to engage consciously and actively in a journey toward wholeness can be one of the most transformative experiences that life offers. It provides you with space for self-reflection, for caring for yourself and your needs in a way that may not have been possible in your busy everyday life. It can give you time for learning about who you are, your purpose, your potential; a time for reassessing your priorities and the value of your relationships, work, and possessions. Illness (or disease) can be the beginning of a deep, spiritual quest.” Rituals of Healing :Using Guided Imagery for Health and Wellness, by Jeanne Achterberg, Ph.D., Barbara Dossey, M.S., FAAN, and Leslie Kolmeier, R.N., MEd., (p. 12).

The things that promote a sense of meaning in our lives, our connection to others and to what is sacred, can heal our lives even when medicine is not able to cure our bodies.