Monday, December 14, 2015

10-Year Itch



OMG - I just finished listening to Marie Forleo's interview with Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love. In the interview, Gilbert is talking about Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. As a writer, I want to steal so many of her lines, but as a human being with a past littered with broken dreams, and crippled by feelings of failure, I want to curl up in her message and suck my thumb.

Ten years ago this month, we closed the doors at the Holistic Alliance. I knew letting that dream of a holistic center here in my home town of Saint Joseph, Michigan, go had been horribly painful, but I realized listening to Elizabeth that I had let what she calls the "murderer of all good things" stop me in my tracks: perfectionism. 

Gilbert called perfectionism a serial killer, saying it goes around killing joy, spontaneity, wonder, grace, and humility. She said perfectionism is fear in high-heeled shoes….

I wonder what I would have written had I been blogging at that time of my life. Something therapeutic occurs when you put your innermost tender parts out there for the world to witness.

It is much different to suck your thumb in public.

After listening to the interview, I asked Joel (Joel Bowman is the co-creator of Subtle Communication Systems) if Big Magic had helped him forgive us for not having our dreams for SCS come true. His reply was somewhat sobering: "I never had a sense of blame for SCS. My blame is more for things I haven't tried, or perhaps what we haven't tried, rather than things we did that didn't succeed." 

Gilbert said all love eventually becomes help and quoted her own mother's advice: "Done is better than good." 

Today, with Big Magic, I am more courageous about looking back. The dream of weaving together the threads of body, mind, and spirit is still alive in my heart—and every day you can look around in the world and see how much progress has been made. Fortunately, hearts only break in one direction: open. 

My heart is more open to celebrating each and every one of the many who came through the doors at 100 Church Street and found something meaningful there. I am thinking about those who studied energy medicine and the power of language with Joel and me. I love you all.

I vow to let my heart once again have wings and I am willing to stand tall and dance again with inspiration. Lets see what comes from that in the coming year. And so it is...