Remember to Enjoy Yourself!

Maybe the most important teaching is to lighten up and relax.

It’s such a huge help in working with our crazy mixed-up minds to remember that what we’re doing is unlocking a softness that is in us and letting it spread.

We’re letting it blur the sharp corners of self-criticism and complaint.

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön

Perhaps other cultures have an easier time of it, but as Westerners, it may not come as a huge surprise to you that humans are not usually very compassionate with ourselves (or with one another). Previously, I have written and spoken about how ingrained blame and shame are to those of us who grew up hearing the story of Adam and Eve. In that story, the female archetype caused the male archetype to do something bad. In the book of Genesis, Chapter 3, Verse 12:

The Man said, “The Woman you gave me as a companion, she gave me fruit from the tree, and, yes, I ate it.”

God said to the Woman, “What is this that you’ve done?”

The freedom comes from our being able to sit with the pain of what is. I love how Gary Zukav and Linda Francis have provided a better way of relating through their Spiritual Partnership Guidelines. 

Essentially we are able to become aware of our reactions, especially strong emotions, and take responsibility for our feelings, experiences, and actions. Imagine if the story we were told as a foundation for our faith journey went more like this: 

The Man said, “I am sorry. We did not intend any wrong. The fruit was there and we both had some.”

God said to the Woman, “That is a good man you have there.”

Of course, we do not have to pretend we are in relationship with a good man or a good woman. We are all capable of bringing a greater consciousness to each of our relationships. We can learn to act from the healthiest part of our being, and to easily say, “Oops,” if we notice that we were not in integrity about something. 

This winter I have been focused on learning more and more how individuals can overcome the biology of addiction. Tommy Rosen of Recovery 2.0 fame is someone I have come to appreciate in that area. I read about an experience he had at a facility for recovery of 13-20 year-olds. When he asked this group why they had come there, he expected to have them say they were there because of drugs and alcohol. What he heard, instead, in every case, was they were there because of anxiety and trauma.

You can download a free pdf version of the Spiritual Partnership Guidelines. You have to love what it says at the top (and bottom) of the page:

PRINT • SHARE • PLACE EVERYWHERE • EXPERIMENT WITH YOUR LIFE 

And remember to enjoy yourself!