Remember to Enjoy Yourself!

Maybe the most important teaching is to lighten up and relax.

It’s such a huge help in working with our crazy mixed-up minds to remember that what we’re doing is unlocking a softness that is in us and letting it spread.

We’re letting it blur the sharp corners of self-criticism and complaint.

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön

Perhaps other cultures have an easier time of it, but as Westerners, it may not come as a huge surprise to you that humans are not usually very compassionate with ourselves (or with one another). Previously, I have written and spoken about how ingrained blame and shame are to those of us who grew up hearing the story of Adam and Eve. In that story, the female archetype caused the male archetype to do something bad. In the book of Genesis, Chapter 3, Verse 12:

The Man said, “The Woman you gave me as a companion, she gave me fruit from the tree, and, yes, I ate it.”

God said to the Woman, “What is this that you’ve done?”

The freedom comes from our being able to sit with the pain of what is. I love how Gary Zukav and Linda Francis have provided a better way of relating through their Spiritual Partnership Guidelines. 

Essentially we are able to become aware of our reactions, especially strong emotions, and take responsibility for our feelings, experiences, and actions. Imagine if the story we were told as a foundation for our faith journey went more like this: 

The Man said, “I am sorry. We did not intend any wrong. The fruit was there and we both had some.”

God said to the Woman, “That is a good man you have there.”

Of course, we do not have to pretend we are in relationship with a good man or a good woman. We are all capable of bringing a greater consciousness to each of our relationships. We can learn to act from the healthiest part of our being, and to easily say, “Oops,” if we notice that we were not in integrity about something. 

This winter I have been focused on learning more and more how individuals can overcome the biology of addiction. Tommy Rosen of Recovery 2.0 fame is someone I have come to appreciate in that area. I read about an experience he had at a facility for recovery of 13-20 year-olds. When he asked this group why they had come there, he expected to have them say they were there because of drugs and alcohol. What he heard, instead, in every case, was they were there because of anxiety and trauma.

You can download a free pdf version of the Spiritual Partnership Guidelines. You have to love what it says at the top (and bottom) of the page:

PRINT • SHARE • PLACE EVERYWHERE • EXPERIMENT WITH YOUR LIFE 

And remember to enjoy yourself!

Max and The Web of LIFE

Hank’s friend was in Michigan this winter rather than in Florida golfing with Hank. John lost his spot on Jerry's golf league. About 1:00 pm today, John’s phone rang. Hank was calling to get the name and address of the golf course they were going to play on Tuesday. “I will call my brother and call you right back with that information.”

Jerry answered the phone, but John could barely make out what he was saying about his dog, Max. “I cannot think about golf right now. We left Max at Kathy’s so we could all go out to dinner last night. When we got back, Max had broken through a screen. We have been out looking, but he is still missing. We may not even be golfing on Tuesday.” John hung up the phone near tears himself.

“He will try to find his way home,” I said. We both knew how difficult that would be. Max had gone missing from somewhere other than his own home, and would be trying to find his way to a “seasonal” home, along the crazy-busy roads in that area at this time of year….

Never realizing how significant it would turn out to be, John and I had had the opportunity to be part of a happy ending when a lost dog named Sophie got home safely thanks to social media (See: The Tool is Neutral).

Sophie’s information had been posted on the Pine Island Prospect Facebook page, so I quickly posted Max’s photo there. Within minutes, a wonderful woman shared it on the Cape Coral Pet Lost and Found Facebook page. This was the area where Max had gone missing!

Going to that page, I was greeted by a photo of Max with this message: “Picked up this cutie last night at the corner of Skyline Drive in front of El Rio golf course. Please share so we can get him home. Thanks.”

Calling Jerry, I almost yelled into the phone, “Max is safe! I am looking at a photo of him right now! He was found last night, and the woman who found him has your number now!” 

“A woman just called me!” Jerry quickly responded.

“Take the call. She has Max!” Hanging up, John and I shared tears of gratitude and awe. One hour after we learned Max was missing, Jerry and Max were reunited.

Professor of World Religions, Huston Smith, said, "Daily the world grows smaller, leaving understanding the only place where peace can find a home.” Grace is the only word to describe what happens when we follow the threads woven together to reveal how Max and Sophie and Hank and Jerry—and everyone and everything in life is connected in one grand web.