Saint in Beggar's Clothing

Never born never died,

only visited this planet Earth

between 11 December 1931 and 19 January 1990.

~ On the tombstone of Osho, contemporary mystic

This morning I read a Huffington Post news story of an amazing 99 year-old man. Dobri Dobrev, a resident of Sofia, Bulgaria, is a saint in beggar’s clothing. Every day he takes to the streets to beg, but he gives all he collects—plus his monthly pension—to churches and orphanages. He once gave a single gift of $24,000! Dobrev says he once did a “bad thing” so he is trying to make up for it.

It has been a very intense inner week, and reading this story of Dobrev’s life of service just magnifies what is going on inside me. Some weeks are like that. Seeing the snow melt, learning of a loved-one’s death, tossing away some moldy bread. Everything in my world is reminding me of impermanence and the desire to make a difference in the world. So I ponder…

In the midst of my pondering, this email Thought for the Day from Aaron popped in: 

To me, the most important thing that the Buddha taught was that we all have the capacity to awaken. This is our innate nature. We are all Buddhas ready to awaken. In awakening, we become free, liberated from this cycle of birth and death. In other words you are all of the nature to awaken, ready to open your eyes. Freedom is not something that will come to you somewhere in a thousand lifetimes. Freedom is right here and right now, in this lifetime, in this moment.

I wrote to Barbara Brodsky, who channels Aaron, asking her for additional insight. “This one made me wonder what it means to be released from the cycle of birth and death. As I anticipate my future, I have a sense of being eternal, but wonder if you can say more or point me toward something in the archives to satisfy my intellect's desire to know more.”

Barbara’s simple reply was soothing on many levels: “What he means is that we are no longer pulled karmically into the cycle of rebirth. We can still choose to return, for service and with love.”

In 2011, as I was anticipating surgery to remove a “very aggressive growth” in my abdomen, fear of death was dancing in the back of my mind. Although I had not told many people about the experience I had participating in a workshop in 1999, I had seen my timeline end at 2012. The workshop facilitator wanted me to go in and extend my timeline, and was very upset when I chose not to do so, saying, “If it is my destiny, I will face it.” 

So in those last few weeks of 2011, I was wondering if I was witnessing destiny. I did not feel ready to die, I did not want to leave this life, and I was very relieved on New Years Day to still be here!

For sure, we have all done something we might think of as having been “bad.” Maybe we will be blessed to live beyond 99 years like Dobrev, but since we do not know when we will leave this planet earth, in the meantime, I guess you and I have some service to be about….

Indian Tree China

Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
--Children's Letters to God

When I saw this quotation I knew a blog about gifts in unexpected places was asking to be shared!

On Sunday, John (my husband) and I were going to go off-island for a bike ride. Most days we are content to ride on on Pine Island, visiting Eagles’ nests, seeing Falcons, Vultures, Hawks, Osprey, Woodstorks, Egrets, Ibis, Pelicans, Herons, and various other of the nature available on any given day. But we needed groceries, so it was worth putting the bike rack on the van, loading the bikes, and driving the 14 miles. I had planned to ride Veterans Parkway, an urban trail we have previously enjoyed.

When we got the bikes unloaded and headed out, John wanted to go the other direction. I went along for the ride, so to speak, but as we stood by the side of a busy road waiting to cross, I felt the familiar twinges of annoyance. “Why do I agree to something I do not want to do?” I mused inside my head.

Once across the highway, I settled in a bit, grateful for a bike path and almost no traffic. The sun was shining, we had little wind, and the temperature was a very comfortable 75 degrees. My emotions are fickle, I admit that. A premenstrual teenaged girl has nothing on me in that department…

An easy rhythm developed into our making right turns. I love the metaphor of that! Down one side street, up the next, more and more right turns.

We spotted a garage sale and decided to stop. Not noticing a sign “EVERYTHING ON THIS TABLE $1, I picked up a couple of little things and asked the price. Thinking a dollar each was way too much money for the items I had picked up, I put them back but spontaneously heard myself say, “I will take this set of dishes.”

I could tell by looking it was not a complete set, having only five tea cups, but it was still a bargain at $5. While in Florida I could use more dishes that are microwave and dishwasher safe. Handing her the money, I said, “Just pack them up for me, and we will drive back and pick them up.”

A car pulled up and another shopper began browsing. I overheard the other woman grumble, “Damn, people. I wish they would leave us alone.” Actually, the sale was over and they were trying to pack up.

The woman had just started carefully wrapping each of the dished and putting them into a big box when we arrived. I had an intuitive while we had been there earlier, and now as I began to help her wrap and pack, I asked her if the dishes were part of an estate sale. “Yes, they belonged to my sister, Joanne." 

"I am sorry for your loss. How old was your sister?" I could feel her sadness.

She thought for a moment, then told me, "She was 70, and she died last April.” 

“I will say a prayer for Joanne every time I use her dishes. I will say one for you, too…”

“What about me? Say a prayer for me, too!” called the other woman, the one who had grumped about people still coming to buy. 

"One for Joanne, and one for each of you...." I smiled gently at Joanne's sister. 

Joanne’s sister had a wistful look on her face as she said, “I am glad the dishes are going to someone who will appreciate them. They meant a lot to my sister and that means a lot to me.” I could feel the significance of my current reading of John Edward’s One Last Time: A psychic medium speaks to those we have loved and lost.

As I loaded Joanne’s dishes in the van, I could feel the truth of our lives being moved along by an unseen benevolent force. It was as though my day had been orchestrated by a woman I had never met so that I could bring a gift of peace to a woman I will most likely never meet again.

Joanne's Johnson Brothers Indian Tree China.

Snail Mail

Miles are covered one inch at a time.

I believe our birth story (you may have heard tales of your coming into this life) reveals significant threads of your soul purpose—your particular gifts, and your challenges. When I am interviewing a new client I often ask what he or she knows about his or her birth. Some stories are exciting, like “I was born in the back seat of a cab.” Some are frightening: “I was so black my dad thought they were showing him the wrong baby because he thought the baby he was looking at was not Caucasian.” Some birth stories are quite detailed and others are really a question mark, such as with an adoption.

I remember having heard my mom say she had gotten very stressed out by the other women in the labor ward (now there is a term most young mothers will not even recognize) and her labor “stopped.” I am musing about how that might relate to my patience, or lack there of. 

I have been watching this snail on the wall of the carport. I wonder what he (she?) thinks about all day and whether or not it is frustrating to cover the same ground over and over again so slowly one can barely perceive any movement at all. In some ways, that reminds me of the nature of the soul. 

It has been said that the nature of the soul is cyclical. It seems as though we are covering the same ground but we are actually coming around again from a different point. You can see that movement in the revolution of the sun, or the moon, or the seasons. Spring always follows winter…

I have been working for over three weeks to get our first audi onto CD Baby so it will be available through webstores like iTunes and Amazon.com. It took me three full days to fill out the application. It seems to be the littlest things that can cause a hang up. I did not remember the password to the new bank account number, so I got locked out of the account and had to wait until business hours the next day. I tried for two days to upload the album cover image. Sorry, I do not know about pixels and resolution. The list goes on and on.

Today, I will be more patient. I will focus on the bigger picture and be grateful for the ability to learn new things. I will appreciate that someone at Google does know how to get my gmail messages to come into my iPhone. Yes, it was working before it wasn’t. 

I will not cry so easily thinking I am a failure because I am having tech-no-logical challenges. I will celebrate the wonderful young woman I met recently who sent a text saying, “You know what? I just noticed I have not pulled in days! And I’ve been in great moods that have literally been putting my other friends in good moods.”

Today I will celebrate that although my mom said her labor stopped, it obviously started again because I am here. Perhaps my gmail will simply start again, too…