Things Are Changing

Somehow, in the process of trying to deny that things are always changing,

we lose our sense of the sacredness of life.

We tend to forget that we are part of the natural scheme of things.

~ Pema Chödrön

 

This is the last Yellow Brick Road blog post here at dbashamblogspot.com. You are welcome to come back here many times, savoring the stories, browsing the memories, and revisiting the life lessons. You may read and share the over 180 posts from December 24, 2011 to July 26, 2016 made here on this platform.

Bringing my blog onto the main SCS website is a dream come true. It allows you to sign up to receive notifications of new posts by email. It  also provides welcome continuity of format and platform with Wholesome Thoughts, Sacred Stories, and Debra's Wellness Tips. You may also sign up on the SCS homepage and receive those weekly posts automatically!

Going forward, enjoy reading and sharing all Yellow Brick Road blog posts at its new home: http://scs-matters.com/YellowBrickRoad/

Three Days without Anxiety Medication!

In September, 2014, I quoted John Lennon in my WholesomeThought: “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

His words are still true today.

Since the first of May this year, I have been on a wild ride triggered by the intersection of an impending life insurance physical, and my having participated in the 2016 Listen to Your Mother Southwest Michigan. 

Tonight, I am very thankful for each of the steps along the way. Yes, grateful for the spike in my blood pressure, for the EKG and the CT scan. For sure, grateful for Brandi Smith, the Nurse Practitioner who has been patient and trusting with me—helping me be more patient and trusting with myself. 

“Discovering Our Capacity to Love” in Mindfulness in Action (page 11), Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche writes: 

We shouldn’t discount our willingness, that potential, that powerful seed of gentleness. That element of gentleness exists in every being. We don’t have to be embarrassed about it or try to hide it. We can afford to acknowledge and cultivate gentleness and, first of all, to treat ourselves better. If we don’t appreciate ourselves, we have no ground to work with ourselves.

After the insurance company reported that my blood sample had been corrupted, questioned details in my records from 2012 that had not been followed up on with approved Western Medicine, then offered me a high rate without waiting for the results of the follow up tests, I asked the agent to contact the company and ask for a reconsideration. They offered me a good rate. I am grateful about that.

I fully agree with Joseph Conrad's words in Heart of Darkness, “One can't live with one's finger everlastingly on one's pulse.” Three months have gone by quickly while feeling like a lifetime. One quarter of one year. A third the time it took me to develop in my mother's womb. It is a brief time compared to what some people deal with. For now, it is the end of this dance with anxiety. For now, everything is okay. 

I have learned a lot of valuable things about myself, about fear related to medical procedures, and about the importance of being mindful what I am thinking and how I am breathing (or not). 

From Three Steps to Awakening A Practice for Bringing Mindfulness to Life, by Larry Rosenberg with Laura Zimmerman:

Minutes can you go by until you realize you're lost in mind. One advantage of the whole-body approach is that although there's a gap between breaths,  the body is still there, sitting. You're aware of this until the next breath emerges. It gives the mind something tangible to hold onto in the present moment. 

Using whole-body awareness, you're learning to become intimate with the raw, naked experience of bodily life. As you do that, you're emphasizing the first foundation of mind, "the body in the body." (p. 32)

It felt as thought I was facing the human fear of death. We know we will die at some point. I know I am a soul (eternal) temporarily housed in a body (temporal). I recognize each moment as precious. Every day you have to enjoy this amazing event called LIFE is a blessing.

I have learned to notice grasping and aversion—being aware that I consider some things uncomfortable, unpleasant, unwanted and other things comfortable, pleasant, and desired. I may even call them good or bad. It is vital to be able to relax into whatever is happening. That is what mindfulness practice is all about. 

I wonder if I have been able to navigate this process more gracefully because of my yoga and meditation practice. Of course, there is no way to prove that. 

Say only, I am now three days without anxiety medication…. Grateful, grateful, grateful!

The Three Injunctions

The thee injunctions, by Brugh Joy, have been trying to come to my mind. Joy's Way: A Map for the Transformational Journey. An Introduction to the Potentials for Healing with Body Energies was required reading when I was doing my training in Healing Touch™.

Out for my bike ride this morning, I just had to stop to search for it. That feeling was so urgent, I stopped at the top of a hill, under a tree, and put in "Brugh Joy release the need to." 

A blog post with the reference to the three injunctions came up.

From the blog:

In the third chapter of the book, Brugh describes a cosmic experience of a woman who came to talk with him about her challenges in life. A few months earlier, she had been walking along a beach, saw an iridescent light, and heard a booming voice deliver three injunctions. She thought she was going mad. The voice said, slowly and repetitively, "'There are three injunctions for you. Pay attention to them. Make no comparisons; make no comparisons. Make no judgments; make no judgments. Delete your need to understand; delete your need to understand.'" (p. 59)

Make no comparisons. Make no judgments. Delete your need to understand. 

No wonder my soul wanted me to remember the three injunctions!

This is the heading on the home page of that blog: 

OMG!

Diagnosed with gallbladder cancer? 

OMG!

A rare and aggressive form of cancer with a poor prognosis? 

OMG!

Information hard to find? 

OMG!

Physical and emotional implications?

OMG!

Exploring the spiritual implications of receiving a life threatening diagnosis?

OMG!

Yesterday morning I underwent a CT scan of my gallbladder because of a notation about an 8mm nodule on my gallbladder in the records the CT scan I had done in 2012, prior to having a hysterectomy to remove an abdominal mass. I just found out about the CT notation in the records last week, related to an on-going application for a life insurance policy. 

Today, I am feeling anxiety about the test results.

Now home from my ride, I open today's Loving Reminder from Betty Lue: 

The fear or anxiety we feel tells me that something is not quite “right” about what we believe.

The peace and calm we feel tells me that I am “on purpose” and expressing what I want to believe.

The guilt we have about being separate from the highest Good, is often the anxiety we feel.

Intentionally receiving all the abundance of love as I wait....

P.S. This evening I received the CT results - nothing to worry about! 

May all beings come to the end of suffering....

End to Violence

Two days after my Insight's Article was published in the Herald Palladium (See "Unthinkable"), violence shattered our usually serene hometown, Saint Joseph, Michigan. This concert was held overlooking the bluff, less than a block away from the Berrien County Courthouse where two bailiffs died yesterday. Our community does not suffer alone. Dallas. St. Louis. Sandy Hook. How do we make sense of such violence?

This morning I listened to a TED talk by David Steindle-Rast, the Catholic Benedictine monk who founded Gratefulness.org. Today is his 90th birthday and the 19th anniversary of my ordination as a Minister of Reunion.

Brother David's words words echo the thoughts in my own heart: "If you are grateful, you are not fearful, and if you are not fearful, you are not violent."
 

Tune In

Listening to an audio of Abraham-Hicks, I was shaking my head at the guy's question about where his inner being has gone when he is not in alignment with it. 

Patiently, Abraham responded that was like asking when you have your radio tuned to 89.5 where does the signal for 101 go. It goes nowhere. It is there, constantly broadcasting, waiting for you to tune in. 

As I continue to navigate the waters of well-being along this path sprinkled with insurance, pharmaceuticals, meditation, yoga, etc., I could ask the same thing. 

I have successfully passed the hurdle of the medical records regarding the postsurgical aFib event by having a normal sinus rhythm on Friday's EKG.

Where had my peace of mind, my trust in the Universe, my love of life gone when I slipped into fear so very near the cliff of sheer terror? This round is because when I had the CT scan in 2012, the results reported a nodule on my gall bladder.

I now am scheduled for another CT scan on Monday, July 18, 2016. 

When I was in yoga class today, I could not catch a whiff of that fear pattern I am clearing karma around. I am so grateful for that. At least I know peace is possible. 

I appreciate the Nurse Practitioner, Brandi Smith, listening to me, offering encouragement, making suggestions. I especially appreciate her patience with me when my inner guidance does not lead me to do everything she suggests. 

In the midst of all of this emotion about my health, a friend sent a blog post by a woman adjusting to having her first born grandson move away. I now have a lump in my throat as big as the state of Texas reading It's Summer, the Season for Grandparents. 

Oh, my… my own first-born grandson is anticipating a move to North Carolina.

This day, a mother  just a few blocks from here is cleaning out the home of her only daughter, who was shot and killed by her husband as their children slept in their home.

Another mother has just gone through the trial of the man who killed her son.

A lot is happening. I am noticing when my thinking is creating tension. I can be kinder to myself than that.Thank goodness for yoga.

This morning, I read, "The biggest disease of the mind is over-thinking, especially too much thinking about others. Thinking too much is like eating too much. The heaviness makes it impossible to remain light and flexible."

Asking friends, guides, angels, readers to help us tune in.  

May all beings come to the end of suffering….